Stat Whore

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“Have you got another one?”
“What?”
“Another one.”
“Another what?”
“View… hit… like… follower?”
“No. Still on 3. 1 like, but that’s just you.”

(2 minutes and 23 seconds later, give or take a nanosecond)

“Any luck?”
“What?”
“Views… likes… follo…”
“No. Same. Three views and they’re probably all you.”
“Did you like anybody else’s stuff?”
“What?”
“You know, you like their’s and they like yours.”
“I haven’t got time to read – I’m a writer.”
“OK.”

(1 minute and 16 seconds later)

“Four!”
“Stat whore!”
“Pardon?”
“You are, what I call, a stat whore. What are you writing right now?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why don’t you read someone else’s stuff while you’re waiting for your stats to change?”
“OK. I will.”

(Scrolls down ‘Reader’ mindlessly, reads first line of each post, clicks little stars)

Meanwhile…

(Back to the last post, back to homepage, back to post. Rinse and repeat more times than are absolutely necessary)

(3 minutes and 42 seconds later; again, an approximation)

“How’s it looking?”
“16 views, 2 likes. It works.”

*sigh*

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